People You’ll Definitely Live With In Your Second Year House

As the first term of your first year at uni comes to an end, the stress about housing for your second year becomes very real. Chances are you assembled a group of people together as fast as you could, and when second year rolls around you realise that wasn’t the best decision. Here’s why…

The Smelly One

They’ve clearly never done anything for themselves in their entire lives, and the move from halls to a house has destroyed their bubble. They won’t use the washing machine all term, they might shower once a week, and they’ll leave dirty dishes for other people to wash. You’ll most likely need to call for an intervention.

The Anal One

They’ve probably had a sheltered upbringing with uptight parents who won’t let them wear shoes anywhere in the house or drink/eat anywhere but the kitchen table. All they do is nag, nag, nag, nag, and nag some more.

The Horny One

All you’ll hear is moaning and a squeaky bed. You’ll be woken up to moaning and a squeaky bed. And there’s nothing you can do about it because you can’t ask someone to not have sex.

The One Who’s Always Out

They’ll never remember their keys on a night out. Prepare yourself for a message to the group chat at 4am at least twice a week: “seomen lwt me in plz hant got me keyddd”. Once you’ve gotten out of bed to let them in, they’ll stumble through the front door, perch on the stairs and shout really loudly, waking everyone up in the process.

The One Who Works

The odds are you’ll have a housemate who, like myself, has to work to be able to pay rent etc. You’ll barely ever see them, but when you do all they’ll do is moan to you about how work take advantage of them and they never have time for university work. The most likely time you’ll see them is emerging from their room at 3am for more coffee as they try their best to stay on top of everything.

The One Who Does Nothing But Moan

All. They. Do. Is. Moan. About everything. About dishes. About dust. About hair in the plughole. About unopened mail. About someone using their PS3 ‘too much’. About the temperature. Absolutely everything.